1. Watch the Alcohol!

   Rule number one for a smooth holiday party is to limit your alcohol intake. Each of us knows our tolerance. The holiday party can be especially dangerous because drinks are often free and the point of the party is to celebrate — and let off a little steam. While it may be tempting to indulge on the company dollar with the people you spend so much of your time with, resist the urge. Alcohol makes emotions and opinions flow more freely. Liquid confidence can be a culprit in all sorts of choices you’ll regret later — telling your boss what you really think of him or taking a secret crush to the next level. To prevent disaster, decide beforehand how much you will drink and stick to it. Alternate wine or drinks with water. And don’t skip the food. If food is minimal or not provided, grab a granola bar and glass of skim milk beforehand.

   It sounds cliché, but it’s amazing how many people let alcohol get the best of them at these events! Exercising self-control at a holiday work party will pay dividends for the entire year to come. Throwing caution to the wind will get you a new reputation as “Make-out Molly” or “Nauseous Nancy” until you get another job. Is it worth it?

2. Dress with A Sense of Work in Mind

   Your party attire should be in line with what you wear to work. Some businesses are casual and employees don’t have to think much of what they wear. Others are more strict, so after-hours clothes can be a bit more relaxed, but not too revealing. If your coworkers have never seen you in open-toed shoes or bare legs, pass on the short dress or cleavage-baring shirt. Keep it professional. Wear your sexy-somethings to other holiday events with your friends and partner!

   A good rule of thumb is to ask yourself: Would I be comfortable wearing this if something unexpectedly came up at the office? If the answer is no, change your outfit.

3. Don’t Be a Brownnoser

   No one likes a brownnoser and if you spend your night chasing around the boss or other high-level executives, your stock with your fellow colleagues is going to drop precipitously. Be polite and say hello. But spend your time with the people you actually know and enjoy and depend on at work. This is your time to celebrate your accomplishments with each other. Be sure to thank the person who organized the holiday party, too.

4. Mingle!

   Instead of trying to further your career, take the holiday party as an opportunity to get to know some peers. Work the room. Strike up conversations with some unknowns.

5. Consider Your Date Wisely

   If you’re allowed to bring a date, and you should certainly check the policy beforehand, remember that he or she will reflect on you as much as you do. Significant others’ behavior, drinking, dress, and social skills all matter. Make sure your date is on the same page as you. Also, be sure to include your date in conversations and introductions so they feel included. Otherwise, go stag.

Strangely enough, a strikingly similar set of rules apply for family holiday parties. Watch the alcohol, dress for your audience, and try to keep the conversation light and varied. The politics of cliquishness applies as much to family gatherings as it does to the office. No one wants to feel left out and you always know when you’re being left out. Remember, you never know when you might need a colleague, or a relative’s, help.

Harmony is the ultimate goal this holiday season, no matter where, no matter when. Cheers!

And one of the commentators on this blog recently said I reminded them of a young Kurt Russell. Of course, everyone is entitled to their opinion, but this is not what I mean about a star doctor. In response to one of my earlier blogs, a reader asked if I would comment on how to choose the best doctor. In other words, how can you find a star doctor of your own?

There are a handful of sites cropping up on the Internet that enable users to rate or leave personal comments about their physician experiences. In the future, these will be a wonderful resource; however, in their infancy, you are most likely not going to find a doctor in your area or in the specialty you seek.

For most of us, the doctors we have to choose from are going to be the ones that participate in our managed care plan. That immediately narrows the field of candidates for you. Start with that list.

Before you go any further, sit down and think about what it is you really want from a physician. Based on my experience with patients, attributes commonly sought are:

1. The best in his/her field; a prominent researcher
2. Someone whose office is close to home or work and has convenient office hours
3. Someone who has a nice bedside manner
4. Someone who responds promptly to phone messages or emails

Some of these attributes may not mean anything to you at all. Some of you may want to find a physician who has all of them. Online Cialis

If you are trying to find the most-respected person in a field, first, you should avoid any source that claims to list “the best doctors”. These are little more than marketing ploys, and spots on the list go to those whose home institutions pay the most in advertising fees.

If you have a starting place - for example, your HMO’s list of participating oncologists - perform an Internet search and see which doctor comes up the most frequently as having written a research paper or being quoted in the press. If the doctor is affiliated with an academic medical institution, you can search that institution’s webpage. Often they will post a list of the doctor’s published work and awards.

If response time is important for you, the best thing to do is to place a call to the office. Be honest. Tell the receptionist that you are deciding whether or not to make an appointment with this particular doctor and would like to talk to him/her first. If they call you back, then you’ll know they are interested in your business and in pleasing you. Most doctors are realizing that patients are customers, too. If not, you should cross them off of your list.

The next best thing to actually sitting down and talking to the doctor (and what the Internet sites are counting on) is a good testimonial. But before you take someone’s word on a potential doctor’s bedside skills, make certain that you and the other person expect and want the same thing out of a doctor.

You also want to find out how many visits they had to formulate this opinion. Like anyone else, a doctor can have good days and bad days, so make sure that a person’s impression is not founded on a one-time encounter.

Lastly, don’t be afraid to try something new. Many people hesitate to see a doctor who is just out of training. They think he/she is too green and inexperienced. This is not the case.

Studies have shown that younger physicians are often more current on latest treatment options than their more seasoned counterparts. These younger physicians are also often trying to build a practice and will have more time and more interest in you as both a patient and a customer.

Most of all, keep in mind that you can create your own star physician. Tell your chosen doctor what you need in a doctor-physician relationship. More times than not, you get what you ask for.

Not long ago I found myself reading Betty Friedan’s comprehensive and compelling book, “The Fountain of Age” (1994), and I was stopped dead in my tracks by her following statement: “Mindless conformity to the standards of youth can prohibit further development… it takes a conscious breaking out of youthful definitions, for a man or woman – to free oneself for continued development in age.” Say what?

Friedan, who died last year at the age of 85, was commenting on the observation that people who participated for years in long-term studies about aging actually survived significantly longer than they were expected to.

After discounting every possible error that might have skewed the results of those studies, researchers concluded that it was actually the participation in the studies that increased their longevity. And what they think, according to Friedan, is that “those who consciously affirmed and studied their own aging in an open-ended way, as a new period of development, simply continued to find ways to keep on developing.”

Here’s the awful irony that I took away from Friedan’s insight, that the very things we’re doing to look youthful…Botox, plastic surgery, hair dye… may, in fact, be preventing us from reveling in the here and now of whatever our biological age may be. And that fact alone could actually make us die younger.